For those unaware of the #BlameOneNotAll Campaign, here is a quick idea: I feel safe when my father is in the same room as me. Or his (male) colleague. Or my (male) best friend. Now, since I feel safe alone with them, therefore, all men do not rape. A few men rape and the rest who have not and will not ever, should be put on a pedestal and thanked. Maybe feed them a Mithai or two. Or better yet, plaster their name everywhere, celebrate their divine goodness and declare them a safe zone for women. Because, logic.
Here’s my question – why are we celebrating men for not raping us? I mean, I thought rapists are misogynistic people who feel the need to rape women to experience power over them. So when you do not rape a woman, you are being a civilized human being. You are decent. Something that you are supposed to be by default. That does not call for a medal. Also, can you tell me you have never, in your life, made a sexist comment on a woman? Not raping a woman does not absolve you from that. Not being a rapist does not mean you do not enjoy power and privilege from patriarchy as a man. You simply do not deserve praise.
I am tired of the “not all men rape” phrase in every conversation about women by MRAs and trolls. Or “Men get raped too”. Here’s what: WE KNOW THAT. But do you know what I hear when you say that? I hear, “We men have been at the top of the power ladder for centuries now and we have been exploiting women physically and emotionally. Now that you are looking into the issue, we don’t like it and we want the spotlight back on us.” That’s right.
Every time you say you feel insulted by feminist agendas because YOU have not raped a woman, you are choosing to ignore 93 women who are raped every day in our country. You are saying your pride is more important than their trauma. You are saying that the ordeal of 33,707 women who were raped in 2013 is insignificant.
Exactly 118,866 women were reported as victims of domestic violence in 2013. That was a rise of 134% over a span of just 10 years. And you want us to discuss about how not all men rape?
Right now, I can almost hear MRAs blaring “But men too suffer (insert some form of victimization).” Of course they do. Around 9% of all rape victims are male. But, the perpetrator of rape is a man 99% of the time. The percentage of homeless men is way higher than women’s. Suicide rates are higher for men. Men are supposed to be emotionally dry, sexually aggressive and masculine. OF COURSE MEN HAVE ISSUES. However, I mostly see feminist circles covering these concerns. All MRAs do is derailing a feminist thread with groundless observations and upset everyone.
When I go out for the day, I have to be constantly on the lookout. I’ve been groped by men, catcalled and I have seen men try to jerk off while staring at me. When I get home and exclaim, “Ugh! Men”, you don’t get to stomp on me and call me a misandrist. Because I am not. But if you call out on me because I am stressing on a woman’s problem more than your feelings, YOU are the misogynist.
Privilege is a hard thing to admit to. I am privileged because I am a cis-gender, heterosexual middle class person. I am privileged because I’ve had access to education, wholesome food and a roof over my head. I am privileged because I have the luxury to sit in a room of my own for hours and write this.
Every time I ask a beggar to just, “get a job”, I am exercising my privilege. Every time I scoff at a person’s English, I am exercising my privilege. And every time you remind us that not all men rape, you are exercising your privilege as a man. You are telling us how to practice feminism (by talking about men’s feelings) and doing what men have been doing for centuries. Exploiting.
Feminism is a movement that aims to deal with multiple systems of oppression. This is extremely important, especially in a country like ours, where patriarchy, class and the caste-system overlap and interact.
Please stop disrupting the movement. Acknowledge your privilege. And understand that it is not about just men anymore.
I’d like to sign off with a description of this very hilarious post that popped up on my news feed a couple of weeks back. It had a screen capture of a tweet that said something along these lines –
“Women: (exist)
Men: Has feminism gone too far?”
Enough said.
