We have spoken about girl education, gender equality and women rights. Endless discussions, seminars, marches and much more, but in this race of being a part of the movement, I think an important part of womanhood has been neglected. Body image issues and fat shaming have slowly and steadily become a deep rooted part of our society. Today a majority of women feel that it is an absolute necessity to maintain an hour glass figure and carry a baby doll look round the clock. Most of the times an unhealthy and negative perception of oneself leads to anxiety, sadness and sometimes chronic depression as well.
I was never a part of the hour glass community of females since my early days of womanhood. On and off I was attacked with some so called friendly comments like, “Beta apna weight kum karro” ,”Oye motu”, “Oye double decker”, “Oye fatso”. Sometimes it was my parents, who were harassed because of my plum figure “Arre apki ladki toh badi healthy hogayi hai”, “Iska weight kum karwao bhaiee, warna shaadi kaisi hogi”. Mind you! Most of these comments on me not being a matrimonial material happened way before I had even hit my puberty.
As days passed and months turned into years, I hit puberty and womanhood was in full bloom. But my extra pounds never made me a part of the Oh-so-glamorous and pretty girl gang. Being a social being, I always had friends around. But jokes about my curvy figure and nicknames like fatty, motu, teddy bear and others never left my side as well. School was still a secure haven, as age descended upon me, the societal pressure of being the girl who would be liked by one and all not for her intelligence, her chirpy nature but for her being the right size girl. I had by then developed severe body image issues about my chest size and waist size.
College was more of a roll coaster ride, with a boyfriend who thought of me as a subordinate than an equal and the instinct to achieve something substantial, college days were spent in shades of grey. But the advices of relatives and friends and the priceless tips on how to lose weight was quickly, was a baggage I carried with me everywhere. Sometimes I would look into the mirror and think of ways I would get rid of the flab overnight. Thoughts of actually getting seriously ill in order to be able to lose 5-10 kgs in a go would come to my mind.
During my graduations years, I was detected with thyroid and then PCOD (poly cystic ovaries syndrome), my hormones had gone for a toss and my body was changing massively. I gained more than 10 kgs, problems like water retentions, swelling, unwanted negative thoughts started to make my life hell. My personal life was on the rock, conflicts in love life, family life, social life was now a part of my world. I was no more the cheerful girl. Meanwhile, depression and identity crisis were also on its way. In short my life was in doldrums. But yet all people around me could see was my swollen face, acne ridden face, thin hair and overweight body. No one dared look beyond my looks, the only one for whom I was still the same was my dear mother. For her I shall always remain beautiful no matter how ugly I am for the world.
After becoming a patient of thyroid many dynamic changes took place in my body, my skin was always dry, and I would get up in the morning with a stiff body. Constipation, bloated feeling, anguish and depression were now a part of me.
After a span of two years, with a lot of medication, some trial and error done by the doctors, I finally got rid of PCOD. Gathering courage I finally hit the gym, but losing weight was not an easy task, it became difficult for me because of my medical condition of hypothyroidism. But I started to like to go the gym, it did boost my confidence. But by this time, I had hit the matrimonial age bracket and I was still 10-15 kgs above my normal weight. Matrimony was now the whole sole motive of my family. But the irony was that I was not the girl most Indian families would like at the first go. I was fat, my face had acne and my hair was thin. Alas! Looking for the suitable groom was not going to be an easy task for my family. families would drop by and my so called would be mother in laws would shower me with their tips to lose weight and try some home remedies for my skin. But no one saw the girl who was self dependent, well read, educated and confident.
I am 25 years old now, and my motive of writing this blog and sharing my story is not one but many. I would draw my reader’s attention to a few things. Like dowry and other evils in our society, fat shaming is another evil that has been a part of our society for so long. A negative body image can ruin a person’s morale and confidence. A woman with a few extra pounds of flesh is not an alien being; she is a human and individual. In our society we need to stop treating women like mannequins and respect their individuality and intelligence.
She gets up every morning with a smile,
She leaves home by kissing her mom “goodbye”
She walks on the streets
She drives the car
She cooks good food
She reads novels
She watches sitcoms
She is independent
She is vivacious
She is strong yet soft
She is the apple of her parent’s eye
At night as she goes to bed, she is sad, she feels lonely
Because for many if not all
At the end she is just a fat girl.
The struggles of a fat girl are way more horrific and saddening than we ever can estimate. So the next time you call a girl fat or any of those idiotic nicknames think twice!
She might be in pain,
She might be in depression,
She might be in sorrow,
She might be starving herself,
She might be feeling weak,
She might be devastated,
Love her! Respect her!
Because she is much more than just a fat girl!
