Faraz somehow coincidentally meets this stranger beautiful bong girl every day while travelling through metro to college. Somewhere, in a parallel universe Shambhavi’s ultimate everyday adventure is to wake up at 7:20 and catch the 7:40 metro! For Rajesh, a seat in metro is a luxury since most of the seats in metro are reserved and the average healthy young male without have any terminal disease cannot have a seat. Damn Reservation!! It already took away his chance to get the IIT’s (not that he was prepared but this excuse comes in handy). But anyway he has to look for the DU chicks who enter the metro at Vishvavidyalaya station so even when he doesn’t bathe with water he makes it a point to bathe in deodorant!
These are some of the daily life stories of the metro citizens who spend more than 30% of their time travelling. Metro has reduced the distance many folds. Earlier one could not even think of travelling from one corner of the city to another but today loads of commuters travel distances way more than that. It was like a breath of fresh air of the Delhites since the roads were chocking on cars during peak hours and the ‘girls should not have adventure’ leader passed the plan for the construction for the lifeline of the city.
When one travels metro each day, we often find ourselves in circumstances which are worth sharing. I am an engineering student from Delhi and often travel in the metro on a daily basis. The reason why I travel in a women coach is not because I don’t feel safe in a normal coach but because of the following reasons –
1- I am not muscular! So pushing people in a normal coach to get down is a lost cause. Why not fight in the level playing field where you have a chance of winning?
2- I am short! Let’s face it. India is a dirty nation (please drop the raised eyebrows)
How many of us take care of our personal hygiene??
Ask me! Ask the person who is at the armpit level of every person. (sigh) I must tell you by personal experience that we must be ranking very low in that index!!!
Each time I mistakenly enter he normal coach I experience the Hiroshuma and Nagasaji all over again. #EmpathyJapan
3- Despite being a nari, chances of getting a seat in the metro are bleak since males passengers have absolutely no qualms giving their seats to an Old Auntie, but but but, they would never offer a seat to somebody like me!!
Damned going age! As it is, it’s doing no good to me! # Single #Tinder doesn’t work #Feel cheated
The sordid story doesn’t end here. Even when I am travelling in a ladies coach there are 4 kinds of species that you have to deal with!
1 – DU CHICKS TYPE
#Hot #Fake accents and what not #GKscore = – ve
These are the ones with impeccable dressing sense which has the potency to make anyone drool! Leave the guys, even the girls cannot resist laying their eyes on them!! # Feast
ADVISORY – If you meet them, then good for you!
2- PUNJABI BAGH AUNTIES
Some of these middle ages aunties are extremely dangerous species due to the following reasons –
1- They want to fit into the 2 inch space between your legs.
“Beta zara shift ho jao” You end up getting up and offering then seat since you don’t want someone giving you a lap dance!
2- They have a CT scan enabled vision which has the potential to look through clothes and hence with the help of these super powers they analyze the dresses, makeup and figure of each and every passenger with their sidekicks the Sharma Aunties.
3- Don’t argue with them ever! Never ever!! They can go on and on about your manners and the values that your parents have given you. Dude, these ones can bargain all day long in Meena Bazaar sale and buy onions at Rs 30 and even then make the vegetable seller feel guilty . #Poor INDIAN economy
ADVISORY – This species travels in groups, if found then run for life!
3 – The seasoned Campaigners
If you have a seat, then this species rend to stare at you right in the eyes to somehow induce shame and hence you are forced to give up that prestigious seat!! This one gets angry very fast like Boom – Teri #$%@&, Teri @#$&, Tammez nahi hai!!! #indigenous abuses .
Apparently the old age isn’t treating them very well! (Sigh) Now, you understand Mamta Banerjee’s pain!! #I might be murdered in bed #the world looses a literary heavyweight.
ADVISORY – If you meet them, feign sleep or read a book, any book even an engineering book would do! Just don’t look them in the eye. And do not make them angry.
4- The eternal foodie!
“Eating, Drinking and consuming alcohol are not allowed in a metro” says so the announcement clearly states this in the metro .But loads of people eat in the metro since its cleaner than most of the eateries and is cheaper than any A.C. eateries.
This species tend to carry the whole world around. Lunch, spoon, fork, fruit, chocolates, toothpick, mouth fresher, napkins, hand sanitizer are a few of these .They just require a place to eat, even if it is the floor of the train!
#nice time pass #Indians
Advisory – If you meet them, they wouldn’t even probably notice you. Let them eat in peace and you may stay alive otherwise.
# Blooodbath@metro
I sincerely hope you never meet the 2 and 3 category and meet the 1 category unicorn!
