“I am going to my room, and please don’t disturb me, I need to sleep.” I shouted to my mom who was in the kitchen when I came back from college. I was having a bad stomach ache and all I wanted to do was tuck myself in the blanket and get some rest. It was 18th of January, so I pretty much knew why my stomach was paining, my periods were due.
I didn’t even bother to change, I just dozed off instantly.
“Wake up Ritu, its almost 8 o’clock, wake up beta!!” I heard my mom calling out for me. I groggily opened the door to let my mom enter the room, and then again went straight to my bed. My mom followed me to my bed. She stroked my hair, gently waking me up. It was very soothing until she spoke her first words. “Are you having that situation beta? Is this why you look so tired?”
Now I was completely awake, “Mom!! Jeez, why do you talk like this? What situation? I am having my periods, why is that so difficult to say. Its a natural thing, you also have to deal with it just like every other girl, so what’s the fuss?”
“Shut up, you understood what I meant and that is what is important. Anyways, did you get your pads?” queried my mom. I was supposed to my buy sanitary pads on my way back to home but since the shop was closed at that time I couldn’t get it.
“No” I replied.
“Then wake up fast and get it now or else the shops will be closed.” said my mom as she walked out of the room.
I glanced at my watch, it read 8:15, so I knew I had to hurry a little before it gets too late. The medical store was just a few blocks from my house. I thought I would easily get back in some 5-10 minutes, so I didn’t even bother to lock the door behind me.
The store looked abandoned. There were no customers at all, just the shop keeper, writing something in a huge register. I stood in front of him. He glanced over to have a look at me and then again went back to what he was doing.
I interrupted, “Excuse me! Can I get a packet of Stayfree Ultra?”
With a doubtful expression he went to get it. He returned with two huge packets.
I said, “I asked for only one.”
Shopkeeper, “Take it madam, you will need it in future also. And on top of that you won’t have to face this embarrassing situation again anytime soon.”
For a second I didn’t even understand what exactly he was trying to say. After interpreting what he meant, I replied, “Embarrassing? What exactly is ‘embarrassing’ about asking sanitary napkins in a medical store?”
I wanted to give him a full-fledged lecture on how normal it is for girls to bleed after every 28 days. And there is nothing to be ashamed about it, it happens to his wife and his daughter as well, but I didn’t bother to say all this because I knew that getting into an argument would be pointless.
He didn’t even utter a word, just took away one of the packets and kept it aside. After doing the payment, he asked me, “Give me your bag.”
I said, “I don’t have one, I will just carry it in my hands.”
His eyes got bigger. With a perplexed expression he asked me, “What if someone sees you carrying it?”
Now I started getting really annoyed, “So what if someone sees me? Am I carrying an illegal thing? Is it a bomb or some kind of smuggled item?”
Again he went quiet. The look on his face suggested that he wanted to say so many things but he couldn’t. Things like, you are a girl, you are not supposed to talk like this, you are not supposed to discuss about periods openly, you should always pretend as if periods never existed. Just like every other person in our society who wants to maintain secrecy over menstrual cycle, discharge and complications related to it.
“Okay, I will just wrap it up for you in a paper and put it in a black carry bag.” the shopkeeper suggested.
It was then I understood that no matter what you do or say to change the mindset of the people, it’s never going to happen. Even after saying all that, he wasn’t ready to accept the reality, he still wanted to hide it in inside black covers. I seriously don’t get it, what is so hard to understand or I should say accept in this.
It’s not that, the shopkeeper or any other person for that matter won’t talk about it at all. He will discuss it, but only in an environment conducive to him, his friends, who will be exactly the same kind of hypocrites which he himself is.
I didn’t even care to answer him. I took the packet in my hand and walked away.
A girl has to face many kinds of problems during her periods but that is not what’s really upsetting, the sad part is, discussing about these things is a taboo in our society. Of course womanhood will always be difficult even if the society opens up, but at least she will have her freedom of expression if that ever happens.
