“What do you mean you don’t believe in homosexuality? It’s not like the Easter Bunny. Your belief isn’t necessary!”
-Lea Delaria.
& thus, whether people accept him with a big hug or disapprove him with raised eyebrows, doesn’t really matter much to him! Raajiv Saini, who originally belongs to Pathankot (Punjab), wasn’t lucky enough to have been brought up amidst a very forward atmosphere, but that didn’t halt him from being confident and straightforward about his sexual orientation.
While the society is busy cropping illogical attacks on homosexuals and being unnecessarily judgmental towards them, do we ever try finding out how do people like Rajiv look at this world? At these tacky judgments we conclude with? How is the journey of fighting an uphill battle of earning social acceptance?
Here we go!
On coming to know the truth about himself:
“I felt for guys right from the very beginning whenever I saw guys. Say, as back as when I was 5 years old, I knew, I just liked guys. And yeah, I was kind of heterophobic too. I could not grasp the idea of a man and a woman being together. Though that’s what I saw happening around.
Accepting myself as a homosexual was not an easy task. In fact, it was very very tough. When I was 18, I wanted to have a girlfriend. But! Women’s sexual parts creeped me out. I felt repulsive! I was suicidal at one point of time. But honestly, I lacked enough courage to end myself. I was also taught that suicide is a step taken by cowards. Apart from that, I was never taught to tell a lie. So I didn’t lie to myself, about MYSELF. I chose the path of truth. It took me 6 years to accept me completely. At 20 years of age, I was able to tell myself “Yes I am gay. & I deny becoming what the society wants me to be. I am what I am and that’s how I’ll be”.
About the world around:
“My family still doesn’t know that I am a gay. But they do know that I have the attributes of both the genders. I act and speak with a broader mindset which at times seems rebellious to them. However, I was lucky to get supportive friends from the very beginning. But yes, I was bullied too. I too was made fun of, mocked, harassed and treated as less than a human. But that made me ask questions about myself and all the issues relating to gender and sexuality. I became clearer about myself, and I didn’t give up. Today I am in front of you as you see me.”
On “coming out” as a homosexual:
“I somehow knew coming out was a very personal issue and didn’t pressurize myself with it for long. The most important factor is to accept yourself. Once you do that, why bother about others!”
On the unfair treatment the society throws at them:
“LGBT society is actually GSD; that is, gender and sexual diverse. This causes the semi-literate and ignorant people to rant about the binary norm of heteronormativity.
Unfair treatment exists, even inside the gay community. Being girlish or effeminate is looked down upon by a number of gays only. Patriarchy rules gay community indirectly.
We cannot expect the common people to understand all deviant forms of sexuality and gender overnight. It’ll take an entire generation and will be a gradual process. So, I don’t quite expect people to come out and say “all is well, we’re ready to welcome all new things”.
On possible solutions to this social treatment:
“It’s a must that everybody has access to sex education, which breaks all myths related to sexuality and builds a scientific temperament in people’s minds. Then only can people stop being so discriminative about gender and sexuality. On a personal level, we must groom and polish ourselves so we don’t leave any loopholes for people that allow them to talk shits about us. Remember, if you can’t answer yourself, you can never answer people!
Lastly, we must not segregate ourselves as gays, transgender, or straights, whatever. We must consider ourselves only HUMAN BEINGS and speak the language of humanity.
Finally, my message to those who often say “May god help them”. May god help you the eyes of love! Because hating humanity is an abomination. Quaran, or Bible, or Gita can shape your religious sentiment, but not your spiritual sentiment. “
Author’s note:
Raajiv is a dear friend. He puts Kajal in his eyes, and trust me he looks nice. He is a broad minded person with unlimited love for people of all orientations. When I hug him, I smell a nice human being and a good friend; NOT a homosexual. He’s honest, committed to relationships and he doesn’t pretend. & shameful enough for us, that homosexuals are giving us chances to accept them rather than us giving them chances to become friends, hold hands and walk together.
Awaken humanity inside you. Please.
