Sitting at 8th Day Cafe Kolkata, I was wondering what to take home for Adu? Would he like the red velvet, or the blueberry cupcake or may some carrot cake? So in my indecisive haste, I got all three of them packed into a beautiful orange coloured box. On my way back home, I kept wondering how nice would it be if Adu himself could come to the cafe with me and buy the dessert of his choice rather than relying on my preferences. How lovely would it be if Adu and I could spend a lovely evening at this Australian cafe, chit-chatting while munching on some sandwiches and sipping some piping hot coffee. But alas, that cannot happen. Why you ask, Because Adu, my brother has cerebral palsy.
Cerebral palsy is a mental ailment which affects the motor skills of a person. In such a condition, the brain and the nervous system are affected, because of which one cannot exercise control over their own body. Palsy means complete or partial paralysis of muscles and cerebral refers to an area of the brain. Such a problem is congenital, and the person affected can improve with the help of training and medication, but sadly the chances of success are very low.
Adu is my only sibling, we have lived our entire lives with each other and our bond is no different from any ordinary brother-sister relationship. Because he cannot respond to my nuances and stimulus does not take away anything from the fact that we communicate and we do have fun in the process. I do not consider him, to be different from ordinary brothers as he too can behave like a pesky little brat, in his own unique way. He is not different than you and me, but yes, he most definitely is very special.
People born with mental ailments are often considered to be “mad” for some, “crazy” for the others and “mentally disabled” for the sophisticated. Whatever be the terminology, the matter of the fact is that this society does not accept such children and even adults for that matter. We all have heard stories of children with congenital mental disorder being dumped by their parents, for the fear of being mocked by the society. Also, there are families who send such children to asylums, since they are considered to be a burden. What are such kids left with, when their own families abandon them?
In my personal experience I have never noticed my close kin, including my paternal cousins forwarding their hand of friendship towards my brother. They were never keen to mingle with him while they maintained a cordial relation with me. In fact I have noticed so many of them ignoring my brother’s presence altogether; this is not a complaint but a sad truth about how ignorant our educated generation is.
Another malpractice which is rampant in our social structure is that such children are often considered to be possessed, or a curse on their family. Such backward mentality is a shame on our so-progressive society, where a health condition is misinterpreted to be something supernatural or occult. Downs syndrome, Asperser’s syndrome, cerebral palsy, autism, etc are some inborn or congenital mental ailments, while schizophrenia, epilepsy, Alzheimer’s disease, amnesia, bipolar disorder etc can happen to anyone at any age. While most of the latter mentioned problems are quite visible, some are not. Any kind of mental disorder must not be considered to be madness; it is just like any other disease which can be cured through care and medication. Survey says that 1-8 people are suffering from an unidentified mental disorder. So one may not even be aware of their condition, which is why none of us should raise a finger at others and label them as “mad”.
What such children need is love and acceptance, which sadly most of them do not receive because of the narrow mindedness of our society. They do not need your sympathy, they want to be treated as equals, they do not being felt as untouchables, all they need is a warm hug.
These special children are little angels, who are satisfied with their lives irrespective of their shortcomings; they do not run after a better and luxurious life, their hearts are not filled with malice, manipulation, hatred, anger and jealousy, even though it is really frustrating to live with limited capabilities.
These kids are free from sin, they do not lie, cheat, hurt, steal and manipulate the way we do. They look at everything equally, embracing the good and bad impartially. They don’t have favourites and nor are they divisive, they smile back brightly to anyone who smiles at them. In this world where we are continuously whining over tanned skin, hair-loss, weight issues, short height, blunt nose, small eyes, imagine how would it feel to be incapable of controlling your nerves/actions. So the next time you see someone like my brother, do not raise a finger and be judgemental about their problem, it will reflect your uncouthness for calling someone “mad” or “pagal”.
Note: Image used in this article is for representational purpose only.
This post is a part of our #SaveTheKids Campaign. To check out more posts from this campaign, click here.
