When one has argued with theists as much as I have and followed their manner of arguing with as much attention as I have, one sees a certain pattern emerging from the plethora of delusional arguments which they form in their desperate attempt to convince the other of the authenticity of their religion. The claims of their ‘evidence’ for god range from “Without a higher power, we would not have had an innate sense of morality in us,” to “If Jesus is not the son of God, who wrote the Bible??” An additional question mark is often employed in these cases to emphasise the absolute infallibility of their evidence.
Needless to say, most claims of theists perish almost instantly at the onset of rationality while there are a few others which are deplorable attempts to fill in the gaps in our knowledge of the Universe with their personal brand of wishful fantasy. However, the most interesting affair about the whole episode is the attitude and temperament of the theist. The theist interprets every attack on his religion as an attack on his self. For reason quite unfathomable the theist perceives every finger raised against the principles of his religion as an attempt to undermine his credentials.
For example, the theist asserts with great pride, “Do not blame my religion for the sins I commit!” Of course, we should not. We should not blame religion for his amorous adventures with his neighbor’s spouse. Nor should we blame religion on his unhygienic habit of nourishing the roadside plant with the water he had consumed before starting from his house. Yes, he is definitely right when he says we shouldn’t blame his religion for his inappreciable activities. Ironically, the theist forgets that the reverse holds true as well. We cannot hold him accountable for the crimes his religion perpetuates nor can he plead guilty for the innumerable acts of treason against humanity that his religion has committed in the past and continues to do so in the present. Remarkably, the theist very conveniently ignores the latter while putting all his weight behind the former.
Another fascinating attribute of the modern theist is his inherent tendency to ignore the numerous fallacies of his own religion while elaborating in excruciating detail the shortcomings of that of others. For instance, Christians seem unable to focus for long periods on the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition while criticizing vehemently the Jihad which is more or less the modern Islamic version of Christianity’s ‘Holy Wars’. In much the same way, Hindus efficiently overlook the oppression which their own women endure due to some perverse traditions backed by religious scripture while exhibiting great anger at the untold sufferings which Islam forces on its women. One’s heart goes out to the Jews who are too busy ensuring the survival of their own religion and observing its seemingly ridiculous mandates to really be able to criticize any other. Nonetheless, they sure do manage to find some crucial time from their busy schedule to point their fingers at followers of other faiths.
An admirable trait of theists is their unfailing ability to come up with new arguments, equally improbable and absurd, to counter the rationality of atheists. However, the most ingenious invention ever devised by theist-kind to deflect uncomfortable questions from freethinkers has to be the memorable sentence which they never fail to quote at least twice during any argument: “God works in mysterious ways.” This quote from their literary hall of fame has become the fort to which they fall back every time an avalanche is about to descend on their system of belief demolishing everything in its path. “If God exists indeed, why is there so much evil in the world?” “I prayed to God thrice every day, then how it is that my devil worshipper homosexual neighbor has found love but I haven’t?!” “Jesus knows how devout I am to him, then how is it that my wife and I have no children but Lalu Prasad Yadav has eleven and Osama Bin Laden has even more?!” The questions come in all forms and shapes but the answer to each of them is the one and only, multipurpose combination of words: “God works in mysterious ways!” How convenient!
There exists an abundance of literary traps which the theist uses very efficiently to flummox the atheist. But evidently, none work quite well as the onslaught of threats and curses. Often, the atheist has to forfeit his futile attempts to make his rival see reason simply because the theist has realized that he cannot win the argument with reason and hence resorts to all sorts of slander and abuses to escape without having to admit that the freethinker does have a valid point. Although some of them have become civilized enough to deny all evidence while keeping a straight face, the majority haven’t yet adapted to the fact that their core beliefs are subject to rational discourse as well. So it was that while some religious leaders were diligently debating New Age Atheists like Christopher Hitchens on public forums; others were busy issuing fatwa against anyone who chose to live life on terms which differed from the ones they had dictated.
Any argument with an average theist proceeds through three phases easily distinguishable from his facial and vocal expression. The first phase begins with the theist smugly preaching the holiness of his beliefs and claiming the higher moral ground. In this phase, the theist arrogantly admonishes his opposition for being a heretic and fakes sympathy for the other having wandered off the ‘true path’.
In the second phase of the argument, the theist is forced on the retreat and appears desperate in his attempts to defend his beliefs. He does not give up and continues to assert arrogantly, with confidence wavering slightly, but has given up on his preachy tone. He immediately reverts to the defensive on further questioning of his ideals and gradually realizes the hopelessness of his cause. And in the last phase, the theist gives up all forms of false modesty and asserts in a hot fit of rage that god exists and implies unashamedly that he is a better person simply because of his faith. The escape route now forced open by his bout of anger, he opens the door further by threatening his opponent with burning in the eternal fire of hell or actual physical harm and runs through the door that is now fully open. And there ends the argument.
Sometimes it is asked of the atheist, why does he trouble himself with the beliefs of others when they are no concern of his? ‘Live and Let Live’, they say and urge the atheists to stop ridiculing their beliefs. The atheist is labeled as arrogant and accused of improper conduct by the sane and is termed devil worshipper and Agent of Satan by the not-so-sane. Many efforts are made to deter the atheist from shaming their religion.
Why ridicule, they ask. Why not, I reply.
They shall not own up to their mistakes. Freethinkers and dissenters have no place in an overly religious society, Science and rational discourse takes back seat when religion is allowed to dominate proceedings. Galileo is proof of that. All of them will vie for political dominance and slaughter each other in their bid for power. Totalitarianism shall prevail and rob the world of its chaotic beauty. But most importantly, freedom of speech is sacrificed gleefully at the altar of religion but religious leaders have the audacity to claim that sacrificing only your tongue is not enough; you must sacrifice your sense of reason as well!
The religious populace demands a lot from the individual but most of all it demands that they mend their way to accommodate theirs. If then, a solitary but not the lone voice dares to ask why, is that so wrong? Humor is a sword which cuts through tyranny like a sword; it undermines the dominance of the unjust and the authority of the undeserved. If a person’s psychological issues and sexual orientation can be the object of hurtful gossip and crude jokes, then how dare the religious demand that we leave their religion alone?!
The world has much to thank the atheists for. One particular reason is how atheism can single-handedly unite the religious leaders of all sects of all religions. They may have views that lie on extreme ends on a lot of issues but as soon as they spot an atheist making his views clear about them, they waste no time in joining their hands to tackle their opponent. Nothing unites theists more than a bold atheist. The mortal enemy of religion is not atheism. It is the voice of reason. Atheism is simply the knowledge that god does not exist. However, the notion that atheism is an attack on their identity forces the theists to unite against their rivals in an argument. Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Judaism, all of the major religions are blatantly contradictory in their approach towards the ‘Holy Path’ and their interpretation of god and yet, they do not hesitate for even a moment to put aside their difference in confronting and defaming atheism. Thus, the motto of theism that pervades all others is: “Divided by Religion, United by Atheism.”
