I remember a conversation among the gossip aunties in my neighborhood after Nirbhaya rape case in 2012. They were talking that the girl should not have been out in night just for the movie which she could have watched at daytime (which generally is people’s reaction). But, as media propagated the protest in Delhi, they decided to change their opinion to ‘ladki ki ijjat kharab ho gyi, ab shaadi kaun karega bechari se, parivaar badnaam ho gya’ just to make sure that people around them feel that they know rape is wrong. What I wish to discuss here is the issue the whole country is affected with. We have internalized that rape is wrong, but the reason we give to justify it, doubts all the promises we make about equality, freedom and right to make choices. It reminds me of the prevalent demeanors of patriarchal society where women require public sanctioning for all the actions and steps they take.
India’s culture and traditions visibly supported women suppression leading to formation of virtues on the basis of gender and vice versa. Any violation in their sexual dimension was instantly a blot on their “ijjat”. They are made to carry this “ijjat” throughout their life. For anything wrong happens to them, they are victims as well as culprits. They are accused for the flaws in their conducts whether reasonable or not. Nowadays, increasing propagation of ancestral heritage of cultures has antagonized women in every possible way for the acceptance of new metropolitan westernized culture. But, is this method of portraying rape completely correct?
Rape has been associated with honor because gender based boundaries bring in the concept of honor. This honor is also the result of the accumulated moral and conventional teachings boys and girls are given since their childhood ‘separately’. It is easy to say that we don’t rape, so we are not a part of the problem. But, it is equally important to note that we are a part of the problem even if we have no clear and correct idea why it is a problem. And, “why” in case of considering rape wrong matters more than thinking of it as a crime because the reason behind this “why” questions the legitimacy of various socially sanctioned rapes.
We all are aware that even men are raped, but how come there is negligibility in the reporting of such cases. Yes, this is because of the parameters we have fixed in the teachings and morals differently for both genders. Rape is a sign of physical weakness of the victim which the rapist uses to assert his strength over the other sex. And, according to what we have been taught, men are strong and brave. So, it is not possible or acceptable for a man to be raped.
In a TEDx Talk, Shreena Thakore said, “Rape is the denial of one’s bodily integrity and autonomy”. Every person has a right over their body and rape is the violation of this sole autonomous right. Defining rape in the aforementioned way brings down any single opportunity of claiming it to be legitimized by society or law because a person’s bodily autonomy is way above these laws and norms. The present world is witnessing various economical, political and social changes, and all of them have contributed to appreciate the standing of women in the society.
Rape is not a temporary problem for the victim, but it attaches itself to the identity to the person causing various disruptions in the normal life. And, it affects the lives of people associated with the victim. This is because of the current social understanding of why rape is wrong. So for every “why” if there is an appropriate answer, we take one step towards solving the problem.
