Great news, isn’t it? Women driving rickshaws, the most male dominant (though not glamorous) profession and now even women are picking it up. Such a positive step!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against autos driven by women. That’s one of the most positive things I’ve read. But this is about something else, something that has been running deep in our minds and it has become such a part of our psyche that we barely even notice it or find it wrong. Notice how the autos are pink? Yes this is about stereotypes.
Yes, in this patriarchal setup, a lot of injustice has been meted out to women and though it might not be so obvious, men have been victims too, and one of the chief reasons for this is gender stereotypes.
Gender neutral rape laws – don’t be silly, men don’t get raped. Oh, you want to be a cook? But men aren’t supposed to cook. Oh you’re upset, but be a man, real men don’t cry.
Even feminism is subject to stereotypes. Look up the recent feminism propaganda. You’re empowered if you work in a corporate setup and yes, it’s inversely proportional to the size of your dress. Deepika Padukone’s video for Vogue shows everything that we are doing wrong in dealing with this issue. What if a woman of her own accord decides that she wants to take a break from her job and spend more time in the upbringing of her children? Empowering women is giving them the choice and not judging her decision. And equality is when a man chooses to stay at home and we don’t let our inner gossip queens take over and secretly shame him at our social gatherings.
Why is this an issue? Take a walk down any toy store. The aisle dedicated to girls will be filled with fifty shades of pink. Hamleys did try to contribute, it had a range of Barbies in various professions, but I had my facepalm moment when I saw Barbie as a doctor with a mirror in her hand! Now take a walk down the boy’s aisle (Yes, their toys are in different aisles, you see my point?). Cars, guns, racing tracks, and nothing in pink. This is the problem.
No matter how much we work towards equality, it will never succeed until we stop conditioning our children to think that playing with a kitchen set and dolls is the girl thing to do and if you are a boy, go take the gun. Then, when these kids grow up, we instinctively teach the boy child to do things like fixing the broken bulb, paying the bills, going to the bank. I couldn’t fix a car if my life depended upon it. So do I fit into the girls are bad mechanics stereotype? Well, yeah but it’s because growing up I always looked at cars as a ‘boy toy’.
If we treat children equally from an early age then they will grow up expecting to be treated equally. Instead we teach them that boys are meant to care about football (and dinosaurs and to turn away from anything ‘girly’), and girls are meant to care about friendship, emotions and looking pretty. Then we wonder why we struggle to get girls to stick with science or sport, why so many men struggle to express their feelings and why women are rated on appearance over ability as they grow up.
-Tricia Lowther, campaigner, Let Books Be Books
Until recently I didn’t know how to write a cheque or get my passbook updated till my father decided enough was enough and dragged me along for the monotonous bank jobs. On the other hand, we teach women more intrinsically feminine traits like setting up the decor dusting the house, cleaning dishes. Aren’t these essential skills for anyone? Don’t men need to learn them? We subtly push them towards confirming to the existing stereotypes and then wonder what went wrong.
Why does this matter? Divorce rates in India have increased, more and more women are taking up a stand and going against society for a better life. But once they leave their husband’s home, a different tussle starts. They realise they left their father’s home for their husband’s and never really learned independence. Leaky taps, overdue bills all become a big crisis. Because independence isn’t just earning bread, is it? It’s learning to survive on our own and we never teach some essential skills to our women.
And that’s why you should think before cracking a joke that mocks at women’s ability(rather inability) to drive, especially when within earshot of a sensitive child and not berate men for earning less than their wives and… you get the gist.
So drive those auto rickshaws, pink blue or black and yellow. Because, why should boys have all the fun. 😉
