You are born as a female? It’s a crime. You are a criminal.
Ladies and Gentlemen (who consider themselves the so called ‘educated’ men of our society), I would like to address all the people residing in India today on a topic which has created an outrage in India. To the people who protested with aggression, coming on the streets and demanding for their rights- “Seriously, tum logon ko koi kaam dhanda nahi hai kya? Chale aate hai chhoti si baat pe road pe!”
Of course this is a small thing. Rape, sexism, domestic violence, patriarchy, marital rape, physical assaults, eve-teasing, suppressing women, gender inequality, etc are all small things in our society. It has always been. Do you even know how many people are concerned about women security in our country? Do you know how much they care about you and want to “prevent” you from getting you molested?
You don’t know? No worries, I will pin them down for you. The beliefs of all the so called ‘educated’ and ‘civilized’ people in our society.
“Rape is a social crime which depends on the man and woman. It is sometimes right and sometimes wrong.”
– Ramsevak Paikara, Home Minister of Chhattisgarh State. NOTE: He later on said that he was misquoted.
“Such incidents (rapes) do not happen deliberately. These kind of incidents happen ‘accidently’. Boys make mistakes. They should not be hanged for this. We will revoke all the anti-rape laws.”
-Mulayam Singh Yadav, chief of the regional Samajwadi Party. NOTE: Mr. Yadav’s party rules Uttar Pradesh state where a number of rape cases have been reported.
“If the limit of morality is crossed by women, such cases will happen.”
“I have no hesitation in saying that about 90% of the girls consensually go with men and they end up meeting criminal minds and become targets of rape.”
-Dharamveer Goyat, senior politician in Haryana State. NOTE: He later on clarified saying that he had no intention to criticize women.
“As long as the Earth exists, there will be rapes. Rapes have happened in the past and will continue to happen.”
– Deepak Haldar, West Bengal MLA
“Earlier, you guys have bullied me on various occasions. If you insult the mothers and daughters of Trinamool workers. Then I won’t spare you. I will let loose my boys in your homes and they will commit rape. I will teach each of you a lesson.”
-Tapas Pal, TMC.
“Jab tak mahila tirchi najar se nahi dekhegi, tab tak purush use nahi chedega.”
– Satyadev Katare, Congress leader in MP.
“Villages that embody the spirit of ‘Bharat’ rather than ‘India’ don’t produce a culture of rape. That’s something that you see in areas in which western culture’s poison has seeped into India into Indian souls most notably in urban areas.”
– RSS chief, Mohan Bhagwat.
“Foreign culture is not good for India. Women in foreign countries wear jeans and T-shirts, dance with other men and even drink liquor, but that is their culture. It’s good for them, but not for India, where only our traditions and cultures are OK.”
– Babulal Gaur, senior BJP Minister from Madhya Pradesh.
“In Salumbur town in Rajasthan decreed that girls should not use mobile phone outside their own homes or dance or dance at weddings so that “they do not get involved with boys.”
– The Anjuman Muslim Panchayat.
“Earlier if men and women would hold hands, they would get caught by parents and reprimanded but now everything is so open. It’s like an open market with open options. Rapes happen because men and women interact freely.”
– Mamata Banerjee, Chief Minister , West Bengal.
“Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts.”
– Jitendar Chattar.
“She (Delhi gangrape victim) should have taken God’s name and could have held the hand of one of the men and said, ‘I consider you as my brother’, and should have said to the other two, ‘Brother, I am helpless, you are my brother, my religious brother.”
– Asaram Bapu.
How did you fail to take into account these invaluable suggestions of these leaders? Don’t they always provide notable advises for you to avoid getting raped just like the way people are told ‘how not to’ be a victim of terrorist attack? Do you want to hear some more valuable pointers on how you should avoid getting raped? Well let’s ask our fathers, brothers, friends, neighbors, relatives the same.
They always have stacks of books with experiences ranging from what length of skirt a woman should wear (if she is even allowed to wear one), should she cut her hair or not, what kind of haircut you should have, whether or not she should have long hair (which you obviously can’t leave open because the men around you get enticed, duh!), the length of your nails, what kind of makeup you should wear (just remember, Indian society does not accept it when you wear makeup in public Even if it an just a stripe of eye-liner or kohl, it is just unacceptable. And wearing lipstick? Were you not told by your family that it distracts the men? If not, then you were probably not brought up well.), the length of your sleeves (wearing sleeveless is a sin, remember that!), the kind of exposure that you get, etc.
And if you fail doing any of these, you are apparently going to get raped, no doubt about that. But you can always stop rape by not talking to strangers (but marrying one and spending your rest of your life with one), by calling the rapist ‘bhaiyya’ and digging out a rakhi from your bag to tie him one that very instant.
To be on the safer side, always carry a aarti ki thaali with you at all times. What if the rapist does not fall into the ‘bhaiyya’ trap with just a rakhi? And don’t forget, the most important thing that you’ve got to do is beg and plead for your ‘bhaiyya’s’ forgiveness for wandering on the streets late (doesn’t matter if you had a night shift, because it’s the rapist’s moral right to rape you if you’re seen out at night and there’s nothing stopping him).
But according to the priceless beliefs of one of our leaders, if you do get raped, then a woman should always enjoy it. Isn’t that awesome guys? He’s asking you to look on the brighter side of the situation because god knows when you’d get the golden opportunity of getting raped. Of course that’s a once in a while kind of opportunity and if you’re lucky you’d get raped more than once by different people and also, you might get a bonus of shaming, eve-teasing, derogatory questioning, for the rest of your life!
And also don’t forget, your job doesn’t just end here. No, no, no! There’s more to it than that. Of course, being a woman in India doesn’t just come with ‘how to not get raped’ but also with ‘how a woman should be’. Now I’m going to read a set of rules that the society wants you to be:
Indian society: You are born as a woman? Congratulations! This is how you should be. And if you by chance fail to abide by them, get ready to be taunted, criticized, teased, molested, assaulted and beaten up till you die.
Rule no. 1: You are not supposed to talk with the opposite gender. We wouldn’t care to know whether he’s your brother, friend or relative, but that’s just a no! If you’re seen doing this, you’re characterless!
Rule no. 2: You are always going to be shamed by us for the choices you make. We are going to be at every step of your life, forcing you to be an ‘adarsh mahila’. You are always going to be taught shame. No matter what happens to you, who does it or what the consequences are, it’s all your fault. It’s your shame!
Rule no. 3: From the moment you’re born, you will be taught how to be the ‘perfect submissive bride’. Remember, you are going to your in-laws house that is your real family. You are a liability to them because you are staying with them. Your real parents? They aren’t your family. They just fed you and gave you the guidelines about ‘submissiveness’. And oh, you’re liability to them too. Basically, wherever you go, you are going to be a liability. Always.
Rule no. 4: God forbid if you have a darker skin tone. You will be labeled as a ugly duckling for the rest of your life. We don’t care how beautiful your eyes are or what kind of bone structure your face has, you are just ugly. We won’t even acknowledge the fact that the Indians have a wheatish skin tone which is our biggest identity, but rather, we will hate our own race and color.
And if you’re dark, no one will marry you. Jeez, who wants to marry a kali billi anyway? Unless you have rich parents, or a high salaried job, then we’re okay with it. But don’t think we won’t cheat on you after marriage, okay? In short, “If you’re dark, you’re ugly. If you’re white, you’re beautiful.”- This is what we preach no matter what degree holders we are or what sort of high quality education we’ve received. What is racism? Never heard of that term.
Rule no. 5: Jeans, skirts and shorts a HUGE no! What do you think you are? A fashionista? Wear body covering clothes like burquas, paper bags, hamzat suits (cleaning suits), potato sacks, etc. Don’t you know that the men can’t control their hormones when they see you and their hormones go overdrive when they see even a hint of your exposed skin? And if you still by chance get raped and molested after wearing these outfits, then we can always put the blame on you saying that you wear provocative burquas and potato sacks since its always going to be your fault. We can’t blame the boys because they’re boys. Duh! Do we have to explain this to you all the time?
Rule no 6: Now that dowry is a crime, we respect it really. It’s good the government banned this practice. But here’s a thing, if your in-laws demand for something, it has to be done. Don’t give them dowry because then we all will be sent to jail. Getting them a refrigerator, gold and diamond studded jewelry, expensive cars, flats, bungalows, will be just fine. And if there’s more, then they can always ask you again and you won’t be able to refuse, because your daughter is going to their house to live, and they are doing a huge favour on her by marrying her, because apparently, she’s a ‘besahara’, ‘abala nari’ that needs protection all the time.
Rule no. 7: Your husband is your ‘parmeshwar’ also known in English as ‘God’. You are always supposed to live your life according to the way he dictates. When he says sit, you sit, when he says stand, you stand. And don’t forget your in-laws. God, they are the most noble people you will ever come across. After marriage, you are at all times going to look after them, ignore their taunts, sympathize with them and consider them as your parents. And them? Nah! It’s only your duty to behave with them like they’re your parents. There’s no compulsion for them to treat you as their daughter. Because you’re not. You never will be. (‘They’re your real family’ reference applies here.)
Rule no 8: Cooking is what you are born for. You need to know how to cook all sorts of food ranging from Maharashtrian, Rajasthani, Gujrati, South Indian, North Indian, Chinese, Indonesian, continental, etc. If you fail at learning any of these, you have no right to be born in this universe as a woman! You don’t know how to cook? Haww! What a shame! We will all display our unity by coming together and criticizing you. We will also go as far as gossiping, laughing and spreading rumours about you. In short, you are less of a woman, in fact, less of a human if you cannot cook. Cooking genes are embedded in your blood at the time of birth. You inherit them from your mother. Weren’t you taught this in your science classes?
Rule no 9: When you’re in school, nothing less than 97.7% is to be expected from you by your parents (if you ever even get the privilege to attend school). You should get a high paying salaried job. But you know what? After marriage, drop all of that and sit at home. Yes, forget the 25 years you’ve spent in educating yourself and getting yourself where you are, but who cares about that? All we care is how round your rotis are. If not, then what is the use of your education? Didn’t they teach you in school that a woman’s job is to make rotis at home?
And if by chance (out of luck) you do get a chance to continue your job after marriage by begging, pleading and crying to your humblest husband and in-laws, then you can work, but only after we increase your responsibilities of the house by ten-fold.
Your husband is getting a transfer or promotion? That’s great news! Which now means his work responsibilities are doubled!
See, now it’s your duty to quit your job and forget about your career and dreams and let him pursue his to look after your house and children. Who cares if you earn more than him or you are more passionate than him? You can be successful, but not too successful, okay. That’s a sin and as long as it’s you who’s sacrificing, we’re okay with it.
You got a transfer or promotion? What? What company gives promotion to women? Who’s going to look after the house and children? Quit your job. That’s the only way. You don’t deserve to work anyway. Your husband will never think of compromising his job to let you follow your dreams like you’ve done for him. Ever heard in the history of mankind of any husband ever quitting his job or dreams to let his wife, the woman who works day in and day out for him, to let her follow her dreams and aspirations? Of course not, because a woman is ‘supposed’ to sacrifice at every stage of her life, regardless of anything. And you know the best part? Your sacrifices will never be appreciated by us. In fact, you will be disregarded saying that it’s your duty. Yup, we are hypocrites like that.
Rule no 10: If your in-laws and husband beat and torture you every day, then don’t say anything. Keep quiet and bear the pain. That’s your family now so you need to understand. Don’t even think of getting a divorce. Don’t you know that we, the society, will tear you to pieces if you’re a single divorced woman living us? Divorce is a sin. Just don’t do it. Even if you die with the physical and mental torture once and for all, we won’t mind. But you take divorce to take a way out of this, we all will make your life a living hell. Remember this, okay?
Rule no 11: Do you know how religious we are? We worship all sorts of goddesses including mata Durga, Laxmi, Saraswati, Kali,Rukmini, Renuka, Sita, Ganga, Parvati, and many more. But in real life, you will not be considered as anything more than a piece of dirt that we are stuck with for the rest of our lives. In fact, you will come across statements like ‘We have the best culture. Women are nothing in our culture.’, by educated people like lawyers.
Doesn’t matter if Mata Durga and Mata Kali are referred to as a symbol of power and strength, but we will make you believe for the rest of our lives that you are always physically less powerful than men. Doesn’t matter if Goddess Saraswati is the goddess of knowledge, you will always be derived of your right to education just because you’re born as a woman to do housework. Doesn’t matter if Goddess Laxmi is the goddess of wealth and prosperity, but you will always get lower salaries than your male for colleagues, for the same amount of work, regardless of how talented and hardworking you are than them.
Rule no 12: We consider cows as our goddesses. So the people killing our goddesses will be sent to jail for 5 years, but the people physically injuring and molesting a woman will be left open, free to do whatever they desire to do with Indian women. And if they’re unlucky, they will be sent to jail for 3 years and they left again. And by their good luck, if they are not majors yet, they will be sent to remand home to enjoy their time and have free food. Yay! Aren’t we a pro at handling out punishments?
And these rules only apply to girls okay. We have not prepared any rules and regulations for boys and men. They are free to do whatever they want, whenever they want, go wherever they want, without any judgment and criticism. We, the Indian society, have taken the oath of judging every successful woman and praising every successful man we come across.
And also, if you ignored this statement for some god forsaken reason, then let us remind you, “We are the biggest democracy in the world!”
If you for some reason, ignored these rules or go against them by taking an unconventional route, then fear not. Go to the shop and buy some a bottle of poison. Drink it like you would drink orange juice and die before we come to for you. One death is not going to matter to us anyway. Every year millions and millions of girls are being killed under the pretense or honor killings, rapes, female feticides, suicides, domestic violence, acid attacks, murders, etc. How does it even matter?
Or better yet, why not all of you women just die once and for all? You don’t make a difference to the society anyway and you will always be considered as a liability, causing problems for all of us. Let the men live in peace. We will kill you in villages if you’re born as a girl anyway, so it doesn’t really matter if you live or die since none of us cares about the extinction of human race if all of you die. But judging by the population of India, there’s still a long time for that to happen. So until we start we start valuing your importance, don’t be born, please!
P.S: For all the ignorant people, this article is dripping with sarcasm if you didn’t notice it already.
Note: I won’t even be talking about the other things like how it’s the woman’s job to cook food and serve everyone in the house, wait until they are finished and then have food, even though she’s the one who has cooked the food. Or even about not being allowed in temples when it’s the time of the month when this rule doesn’t apply to even the worst criminals of the country.
Because right now I feel it’s more important for every individual of India, my dear brothers and sisters, to understand the value of all the women in their lives and the sacrifices that they’ve made for you. We don’t want you to shower us with praises and worship us, but we want to be treated as you would want to be treated by us. Don’t open car doors for us, or hold open doors for us, nor do we expect you to pull chairs; we are totally capable of doing it for ourselves. All we want is to be treated as your equal; to respect our aims, choices, ambitions and aspirations. And all fathers, brothers, husbands, friends, uncles, I will guarantee you that simply by doing this, you would be making our India the best place for women to live in!
