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This Is Why You Will Be Raped, You Indian Woman! So, You Better Deal With It.

Gone are the days of cold-blooded murder and Hannabel Lector. The serial killers rarely come out to play anymore and theft? Boring. Rape has suddenly become everyone’s new choice of crime. The attackers now firmly believe that “If I have to commit a crime, I might as well just get an orgasm out of it”. Truly a prime example of how men always think with their dicks.

Rape is now often used to moral police the youth as well. Gone are the days of getting hit with a ruler or being made to do chicken sit-ups if you messed up. If you go wandering after the sun sets, no matter what age, you will be moral policed and the punishment will come in the form of rape. That’s pretty smart right? Why hit the poor soul lets just have a bit of fun with her. So moral policing has somehow become just another excuse to rape (like we didn’t have enough of them anyway).

Another reason men rape in India is because they just don’t like women. They don’t like women talking on the phone because god forbid our attempt at progression might enforce us into devil worshiping as well. They don’t like it when we eat Chow Mein because they don’t like their women fat, we must be completely slim and trim or no ones going to marry us. So ladies, remember that you will be hated on for eating the Chinese delicacy, so we suggest you lay of the noodles for a bit. A skirt? Oh no, you don’t want to go there. Wearing a skirt is not only disrespectful towards the saree but also awakens the anaconda in Indian men (if you know what I mean ;). You must not entice the more superior gender by wearing a skirt at any cost because rape only happens when we entice, not when they rape, always remember that.

A job? Forget about it. Even if you feel guilty because your family was cursed with a girl child, that is absolutely no reason to obtain employment to lessen your family’s burdens. If you are seen as even slightly competent, you will most definitely get raped. Men don’t like being competed with, so just don’t. If you are a married woman who can’t see her children starve to death because that excuse of a man that you married does nothing but enslave himself to alcoholism, you don’t have the right to a dignified living either.

For all of you that were married off in a hurry to absolute strangers at an early age, you must just obey this mans wishes because if you do, it won’t qualify as rape and you won’t have to cry about it after he’s done. Just go with it! Let this stranger savagely destroy your innocence, I mean he is your husband after all. Oh and if you ever make the mistake of reporting a rape case against your husband please note that it’s not considered rape if you are married. So better luck next time!

If you ever find yourself in the situation where you become a rape victim, fret not! 1 in every 4 girls is anyway, so just chill and enjoy the social stigma. After all, you would have had to deal with that stigma even if you didn’t get raped. Are you dark? Are you educated? Uneducated? Too short? Too tall? I mean we all have flaws and every flaw will attract appropriate social stigma anyway, so just relax and remember that “Ladki bhagwaan ka roop hoti hain”. After all that cow that just walked by? She’s got it better than you, but always remember that the cow is a holy animal and you? Well, you are a woman. Forget that Laxmi, Sita and Durgamaa existed because in their time there was no such thing as rape.

It’s only today that we have put women on a pedestal and told them to report the crimes that are committed on them. Before when women stayed shut, the rape rate was pretty much non-existent. Well duh, it’s because our government compiles this data based on the amount of reported rape case. How smart na? Just know one thing though; you must not report your case. It’s a big No No.

Not only will you be ridiculed at the police station but at the hospital too. We Indians are so advanced that the two-finger test has a 100% accuracy rate. Not only will you have to run around courts and spend your entire inheritance (which probably isn’t that much anyway because you are a girl) on a lawyer, but you will also always get the added bonus of being ridiculed by the defence on a daily basis. So, see ladies? You really don’t have an option. Just shut up and try to enjoy it. Oh, but there is one full proof technique that will never fail you. Any guesses? Not self defense classes, not pepper spray and definitely not a SOS app on your phone. It’s actually only the ‘bhaiya’ technique. When he’s embedded deep inside you, you must moan with the words ‘bhaiya’. This technique always works! So you must try it. Let us know if it worked for you.

Last but not the least, if you think you are going to get justice always remember Nirbhaya. She was India’s daughter and the people that killed her still haven’t been hung, so who are you? You are not India’s daughter; you are and always will be just the rebel that deserves to be punished.

Written by Ria Sharma

Founder at MakeLoveNotScars

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