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Society

The Stigma Attached With Sex Before Marriage, Because An Individual’s Choice Doesn’t Count

Why is having a physical relationship in our society such a big deal? Why is it considered as a sin before marriage? I am an adult, I can take decisions, and moreover it’s an individual’s personal choice, something for which they and their partners are solely responsible. But alas! we are still living in a world where a person’s character analysis is done on the basis of their personal choices.

Today we are living in a very competitive world where each individual wants to be successful and independent whether be it a man or a woman, everyone wants to be independent. It’s not a mystery, everyone knows the path to being successful isn’t easy, so marriage is something they would like to do when they know they are somewhat settled and independent of their parents.

Till then, why is it seen as a taboo if a person is having a physical relationship? We all have needs, there’s nothing to be ashamed about it. Instead of going ahead and committing a crime by raping someone or being a pervert, I’m being open and having a physical relationship, and to me, that sounds more sensible and respectful. Recently private rooms were raided in Mumbai in the hotels located in Madh and Marve, and thirteen couples were detained in spite of providing identity proofs, it was said that they felt very humiliated for the way they were treated even when they weren’t doing anything wrong.

Tell me, do you think it was fair for the police to create such havoc for no reason at all? They were just some couples having a quality time in their private rooms.

I believe judging someone on the basis of their sex life is absolutely absurd. I’m a college student, all around me I hear people talking about others sex life! Why should we bother about someone else’s sex life? We say we are not judgemental and are broad minded, but is it really so? Let’s be honest everyone has urges to get physical but how many of us have the strength to actually accept it and be honest about it?

I don’t get it, if a girl is having a physical relation and somehow that fact gets out why is it that all of a sudden people start to assume that the girl is ‘character less’, ‘slut’, ‘bad influence’ or is seen as someone who is easy to get and is up for anyone or anything! It’s not like sex is injurious to our health. People create such a big issue out of sex that though it’s not harmful to health it becomes harmful for ones character. It is becoming very common among colleges where we see people humiliating and insulting each other just because he or she is sexually active.

The worst part is some families in our society which do such devious things when they get to know about their daughter or son having a physical relation is absolutely shocking. I have seen in my locality a mother beating up her son mercilessly when she got to know that her son was involved in a physical relationship with a girl and all the while the neighbours looked on and gossiped as if he had murdered someone. People need to understand this simple fact that two adults who know what is right or wrong for them, have on mutual grounds agreed to have a physical relation with each other, a choice which is very personal, something which is in no sense a crime.

Recently a close friend of mine had gone through a very difficult phase, why is that so? Because one of her friend went ahead and told few people that the girl was being physical with a mutual friend which lead to a lot of people knowing and in no time, everyone started to assume she was a character less girl, the worst part was even her friends stopped talking to her as they dint want to harm their reputations just because she was having a physical relation with a friend. How ridiculous all this could be? We call ourselves literate, “The youth” and we can’t even be broad minded when it comes to sex.

How much injustice can the society do? In the end it all comes down to the fact that people need to stop judging others on the basis of their personal life and choices, every individual’s choice should be respected, then only can we say that yes we are progressing. A little pleasure and fun isn’t going to kill anybody as long as the person is aware, willing and safe.

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