Equality. It means giving everyone (everyone implying humans, but in principle should apply to all living organisms) equal opportunities to exist and co-exist, without interfering or taking offense to the other’s way of life.
Equality has many types – racial equality, cultural equality, judicial equality, political equality, economic equality, social equality, to name a few.
Social equality, again, has various parameters by which it is judged –
- Equality of Opportunity
- Equality of Condition
- Equality of Outcome
To achieve the concept of the ideal social equality, we need to take the above equalities into consideration. Notice that “Everyone” implies “Everyone”. Yes, the description of “Everyone” as given by the dictionary. It simply means all the people you know. “Everyone” should be party to contributing to these equalities, REGARDLESS of race, class, of gender. The only defining factor of segregation, I suppose, should be age, considering the age old phrase, “Old is gold.”
Feminism is a means to ensure “Everyone” can be considered socially equal to one another. It focuses mostly on equality in gender, wherein BOTH men and women, on an average, get equal opportunities, conditions, and outcomes. It emphasizes the importance of men and women being equal partners in the family, workplace and society.
Feminism DOES NOT equal man-hating. The man-hating, bra-burning stereotype is archaic and destructive, it needs to go. Not every feminist is a woman who dedicates her life to finding faults in men and treats the latter like the plague. In fact, such a woman is not even a feminist, but a misandrist (someone who simply hates men, analogous to a misogynist).
The real enemy that Feminism is fighting is Patriarchy. It is the concept which is widely practiced, and it basically proposes the age old adage of man being the breadwinner and the alpha male, and of the woman being the housekeeper and damsel in distress.
Feminism fights the notion of women not being good as good as men. We feminists take pride in the women who break barriers and demolish the glass ceilings in corporate sectors set by the Men, who are again unknowingly victims of patriarchy. But at the same time, Feminism does not imply stepping into the world by becoming a man itself. No, it implies that a woman steps into the world being herself, a confident version of herself, wherein she can bring to the table her ideas without any fear of judging or mockery, and can lead fearlessly.
Feminism means giving a woman the same opportunities as a man, but also staying in touch with what makes her a woman – essentially it means giving a woman the best of both worlds – the opportunities of a man and her feminine side (whether she has one or not being a debate for another time)
This is probably where most blogs of the like end. Not mine.
Does feminism end at empowering women? NO.
A sentence I had said earlier – “The real enemy that Feminism is fighting is Patriarchy”.
Patriarchy is a terrible deterrent to women, true, but a lot of the time, people gloss over the truth of the harm it does to men as well. Men in the bubble of patriarchy are subjected to “Manly Values” which are extremely harmful to men during their formative years.
The concept of “Men Don’t Cry” is a very harmful euphemism. Do men not deserve empathy? Do men not feel hurt? Do they not feel pain at the departure of a loved one? Do they not feel sad when they lose something important to them?
If they do, then why do we have such a phrase? A man needs to be the breadwinner. A man needs to handle the house. A woman is too emotional, a man can think better on his feet. A man needs to know the finances of the house. A man needs to be built a certain way, with abs and whatnot. A man needs to take care of his sister, daughter, niece, from the Big Bad World, because they’re too giggly and light-headed to know what’s out there, and cannot decide for themselves what’s good and what’s bad.
When we make blatant stereotypes like this, we fail to count for the number of men who DO NOT adhere to such stereotypes. We fail to accept men who DO NOT want a stable job, who do not want a family. We fail the men who say, “Let me freelance at my job, because this is what I love. My wife has a stable job which she likes, so it works out well.”
We fail the men who have no problems with their female co-workers getting a higher salary than them, because they are constantly hounded by their male co-workers who say, “A woman got more than you!”
We fail the men who do not adhere to the conventional standards of manliness, and deep inside do not wish to. But because of society, men and women hounding them are forced into depression. But then again, they cannot vent their feelings out to anyone, because “Men don’t cry.”
Another concept of “Boys will be Boys”. It should be “Bad parenting results in misogynist idiots.” “Boys will be Boys” is not an excuse for cat calling a woman on the street, because her bra strap is visible. “Boys will be Boys” is not an excuse for a man’s drunken partying at 3 am. “Boys will be Boys” is not an excuse for touching a lady inappropriately (if she isn’t comfortable with it). “Boys will be Boys” is DEFINITELY not a valid excuse for rape, as so many of our politicians think it to be.
If you, dear reader, have believed all this while that boys are selfish egoists who do not give a damn what happens to a lady, and have every right to misbehave with her simply because “Boys will be boys”, then again, we have failed.
It is we who have failed at finding faults in the system of patriarchy all these millennia. But now that we do know its faults, we also know that it serves no purpose other than causing distress to both women and men who cannot, will not, and flat out refuse to conform to their archaic ideals.
And when I say we have failed, we have failed not only the heterosexual men and women in the general sense, but also the gays, the lesbians, the transgender, the queers, by treating their qualities as insults in us.
When we say, ”Eww, that’s so gay.” THAT STATEMENT is a stab in the heart of a feminist. Take note.
Come, be a feminist. It isn’t a bad word. And for every woman out there who says, “But my parents have never discriminated between me and my brother,” my answer to you is, “You are lucky that’s not the case with you. You are fortunate. Millions of other girls and boys are not so fortunate.”
Feminism is needed. Both women, AND MEN, need feminism. We need equal opportunities, conditions, and outcomes, if we wish to progress. For now, we know what’s wrong. In the near future, possibly tomorrow, we need to fix it. Patriarchy needs to go. Plain and simple.
This is what feminism stands for. It’s not that difficult to understand.
Note: Image used in this post is only for representational purpose.
