Dear pseudo-feminists,
Congratulations on the amazing job you’re doing. I am sure you do not need appreciation from us. But pardon my audacity; a few questions are popping in frequently.
Remember? Just few days back, a video which was apparently aimed to “empower” women, starring a leading actress from Bollywood, went viral on the internet. A group of people went gaga over it while some others found it terribly tyrannical.
You know what’s funny? When a fashion magazine suddenly starts talking about women’s empowerment; a magazine which, for so many days, so many times, has portrayed women as subjects of lust in so many ways! It’s even funnier when an actress who, just a few hours before, appeared on the television screen advertising a fairness cream, “advertises” women’s empowerment. Yes, I did use that term consciously. Tell me something. What if I starred that video? Or what if any other not-so-special non-famous average looking girl starred? What if it wasn’t directed by a star director and by an amateur filmmaker instead? Would it still go viral? I am sorry, but no. Sadly enough, feminism also requires a brand name today. Or wait! Does it? Are you sure you’re not misinterpreting the entire concept of feminism, freedom and empowerment?
Do you know? All the hurly burly over this video kept reminding me of all those status messages on Facebook updated on the occasion of Women’s Day. “We rule”. “Men are dogs”. “Let’s teach these men a lesson”.
I am a woman. I am a feminist. I am up for women’s empowerment. I would go out of my way to contribute to it. And yes, abusing men isn’t the way. The only way is to keep harming on the problems from their very basic routes.
I do not represent the real Indian population. Or, you, the one who’s just reading it now, don’t either. We are privileged people from cities with access to education, electricity, good food, information and cultural resources. We can afford to read, write, discuss, sometime argue in ugly manners, make videos, spread videos, pat on someone’s shoulder over praise or shout out in anger while arguing,; and then eventually, forget everything. Go back to our respective lives. The real India lives in villages, remote areas. The women of India live in darkness, hunger and poverty; with nil or little education, sanitation, health care facilities. With very little food to eat, and little reasons to smile. Sounds terrible, no? This life isn’t fabricated inside a studio; no one says “cut” until one really reaches the end of her life. This terrible world requires empowerment. This terrible world demands your attention. This terrible world deserves your actions.
So many of you are so enthusiastic about doing something about women. You’ve written a number of posts saying a woman must be allowed to make her own choices. Choice of what she wears. When she returns home. Who does she stay with. Which profession, she chooses. I agree with you. Now tell me something. Ever wondered if the larger part of Indian women are in a state of making “choices” at all. You’ve victimized men so many times. Ever thought of a father who sees his daughter dying in front of his eyes due to malnutrition? Ever wondered how a husband might feel when his wife dies while giving birth to an undernourished baby? Or, ever imagined how a brother might feel to know that his sister was molested? Oh, wait. “It doesn’t matter to them”, you’d say. It does, I am telling you it does. Know this for a fact. The true empowerment will be unfolded only when there’s no conflict between the two genders. Know this as well; it is against the spirit of womanhood or feminism to demean the opposite gender. Feminism, only teaches us to speak up for our own rights, WITHOUT hurting anyone else’s rights!
Empowerment is to turn the wrong into right. To see that every girl child goes to school. That they have enough food to eat. That they don’t get married at 13. That they have access to sanitary napkins. That they don’t die out of anemia while giving birth to a baby. That they’re not trafficked. That they’re not exploited; socially and physically. That they can read and write for themselves. That they earn. That they can have the guts to slap a drunkard husband and move out if necessary. Sounds impossible? Because you never tried. These poor ill-fated women will never have access to these trending videos and articles. They don’t care. Let them have an education. Let them have self-dependence. Let them practice their own legal, social and moral rights. Then we will think about making choices. You know why? Because freedom comes with responsibility. One should know how to be responsible enough, while carrying out freedom.
And talking about the new cool! You know who my first crush was? My dad. I have amazing brothers. I have male friends who accompany me till my home if it gets late at work. Trust me, this generalization sucks. How can you forget about those thousands of men who walked the rally after the Delhi gang rape? How can you forget about the man who was on the verge of giving away his own life to protect his woman from rapists? Or the brother who died while still guarding his sister? How can you forget about those men who’ve treated you so nicely throughout? Your neighbor uncle, or the traffic police you once asked to catch a cab for you, or the one who left his seat for you in the local bus?
The male dominated society is not a problem in India only. It exists in every part of the world. But know this too. In every part of this world, there were men who stood beside women in this journey. Differentiate between good and bad. Right and wrong. Know that in any country, civilization or religion, the conflict has been always between good and bad. You’d need the good’s company in order to win; don’t be so stupid to reject a hand of compassion. That might come from a man too.
-Yours faithfully,
A woman.
