This write-up stems from the agony that hits me every time I see matrimonial ads in paper. Through this piece of work I do not strive to seek answers or judge anyone but for once I wish to draw attention to the silent sufferers. It seems these matrimonial seekers are on a window-shopping spree where they pick ones which have both, looks and qualification; especially in case of arranged alliances. These advertisements have confined women to mere looks where it’s a clear preference for a clear complexion. Women with Wheatish and Dusky complexions don’t seem to be their first preference!
While our education liberates us and teaches us to look beyond the exterior; our dogmas and approved norms, tell us otherwise. It’s confusing for modern girls, as no matter how qualified they are, to keep fuming inside as they face the acid test of being ‘fair and lovely’.
Why this double standard when we believe God resides in the heart of every human being?
It’s a sham our society has built all around us, it reflects hypocrisy where at one point we talk about color-no-bar maxim and at the same time we constantly send signals to our girls to strive for cleaner complexions to be more acceptable to our double-standard driven society. Doesn’t most mother-in-laws want a fair bride for their sons to have fairer skinned heirs?
Watched these skin lightening cream and magic potions advertisements on TV?
They showcase fair girls having edge over the darker ones, they seem to get better jobs, more money and handsome guys swooning all over them while the darker ones always look sulking. Isn’t that unfair and unjust to girls who are not fair by constantly showing them inferior to their fairer counterparts? Do you think a girl who’s not fair wouldn’t get embarrassed watching these especially when in company of others who are a tad fairer than her?
Wrong standards of beauty at home-
Do you remember as little girls how we were asked not to play in the sun?
How our aunts scared us of kala rang and asked us to apply ubtans and stuff for that nikhaar on face?
Wonder if our brothers were given the same instructions? They could easily play sports and enjoy outdoors. These rules mostly applied to girls as if they were not fair they would not good guys.
Bollywood and TV reiterating their clear preferences for cleaner complexioned women-
Our film industry’s milky-complexioned stars have contributed heavily to the fair-skin- beauty norm in India by campaigning for skin-whitening potions. Dusky heroines also feel this color prejudice while their fairer counterparts seem more desirable. These dusky beauties felt they were more acceptable outside the sub-continent. Our daily TV soaps constantly bombard us with TV shows which show fairer girls are ideal and universally accepted. Lot of serials like ‘Jassi jaisi koi nahin’ ,‘Bidai’ and many more showcased how ugly ducklings don’t have a place in our pomp n show world and these beautifully depicted the anguish of the darker and disagreeable. Their woes were no different from what dusky girls face in day-to-day life.
If a girl is not fair, is she any less attractive? It’s sad when girls secretly crave to be a tad fairer just to fit into somebody else’s perfection-mould. Are we all about our looks? Isn’t somebody’s gentle nature or that heart-warming smile adequate to win all hearts? Yes, these racist thoughts are ingrained in our society but hasn’t the time come to make a change?
To make a change we have to BE the change and it starts with you! To all the girls out there,
Love the skin you’re in!
