“I THINK IT’S MORE IMPORTANT TO FEEL GOOD THAN LOOK GOOD” – Tom Hanks.
There are times (let’s say all the time) when I hear girls cribbing about how they are short, fat, dark or how they don’t have the perfect torso, or long legs or thick hair and what not? I obviously somehow consider myself in that group too. I am what people like to call, “a little healthy” (as if they are malnourished) but yes, people around me reiterated this so often that I had accepted it. Also I had accepted that probably I would not be able to compete with other beautiful and pretty girls because I was “a little healthy.”
This was of course before Sonakshi Sinha and Parineeti Chopra entered the industry. They brought, what is called “the Indianess and curvy body” to the glamour world. Suddenly my little healthy body was considered perfect and the skinny girls asked me for tips. This was where I ruminated about how mindless is the whole thing. We have often heard about how important it is to feel good in your skin and how confident women are comfortable with the way they look? But here was the harsh reality.
I heard one of the girls in my neighbourhood talk about how she wasn’t liked by the guys in her school because she wasn’t thin enough. Obviously the other one had her own complaints about the reason she wasn’t accepted among the “cool group” was because she wasn’t fair enough to qualify. I remember being teased for being too fair and how I resembled polar bear. So what do these people want? You cannot be dark, you cannot be too fair, and you cannot be too thin or too healthy. How fake is all this?
The people we look up to in our lives and try to emulate them, are they even worth it?
We often admire women who know what it is to maintain their own individuality, yet when it comes to us, we bow down to the society. It would do us good to remember that they went through their own shares of struggle and people talking behind their backs. The only difference being they never paid any heed to it.
I remember one of my very good friends’ mother coming to our home for dinner. When we went to drop her she casually commented how I looked thinner and pretty. I could only nod. Are the people who are thin considered pretty? Only them? Obviously the “compliment” also came with an adviser. “Try and put braces on, they change your smile, your teeth are a little outward.” I consider it imperative to mention that her daughter was wearing braces. I thanked her for the unsolicited advice.
Do the girls and women live only to please the other sex? Should we pamper ourselves so that we look appealing to them? I personally know girls whose confidence was shattered because they were rejected by guys for they were “flawed”.
Is being proud of the way we look a sign of defiance or confidence? Who are they to judge us? If the guy earns enough he is fit and needs no further changes. But for the girls, being independent is an additional quality which should be accompanied by how she looks, her capability to manage the household and yes of course how docile she can be. I know this is changing and more and more people have started being liberal. But if the norm is to be abolished all together we have to work upon instilling in young girls how to handle the peer pressure and yet no go through an identity crisis. I am not advocating feminism, all I am trying to spread the message that girls everywhere be proud of who you are, and work towards being better but better than only what you were yesterday and not being better than that X, Y, Z person who the society upholds as being ideal (As a science student, I know there is nothing ideal).
And to all the guys, you all are already doing a great job at making your sisters, wives, friends and girlfriends understand it. Those who are not, c’mon start it. You won’t want to lower their confidence, after all aren’t you all fans of independent headed strong women like Sonakshi Sinha (or maybe Parineeti)?
