TRANSGENDER. The word itself reminds us of two things these days. One, Manabi Bandopadhyay, the first transgender in India to be appointed as the principal of a college, and two, the ‘hijra’s you see clapping and begging in the trains and traffic. Even though a very few universities have the option for the “other” gender in admissions, empowering the transgender have really been an issue in India.
On a broader perspective, it is not just India where the transgender is mistreated. The “transgender” in first world countries goes through the same amount of atrocities and even more. Victoria Tickle, a fifty years old transgender from South Carolina, United States of America, speaks about her transformation from ‘he’ to ‘she’ and how she was treated pathetically and has a message for the transgender in India.
“The fight for rights is about the same way here. There is much hatred for anyone like me, in South Carolina, USA. I have had my truck set on fire, windows broken out of the house, spit on my face and even called a ‘faggot’ by the local police. It is just to warm you up to my atmosphere”, said Victoria when she was asked about how the fight for equal rights is moving in her state.
While elaborating on her health and family, she says that she was born a complete man, with normal testes and penis. She lost her parents at a very young age. As a teenager, David Burton (that is her birth name as a born male), thought of transforming ‘him’self into a female, which is what ‘he’ felt inside. ‘His’ feelings were hardly understood by ‘his’ kith and kins.
“People think it’s about being gay? Wrong! I’ve never been with a man. It is about being me, seeing the inner me on the outside and match the way I feel. I see myself as a female”, she said.
She takes hormone shots and pills for transforming her physiological orientation from a male to a female. The hormones started developing her breasts, made her thighs plump and gave her a shapely figure. It has been 3 and a half years since she is using hormones as an aide to transform. Before that, she used to cross dress, like the ‘kothis’ in India. ‘Kothis’ are the men in India who dress and behave feminine. She used to take the help of a medical professional for changing her orientation, but she was “asked to leave” as the other people were uneasy being around her.
“Here if you are different from the society, you are greatly ostracized”, she said.
David Burton was married in the year 1997. “She met me dressed as female. Still married, unfortunately. My wife is very violent and unstable. She went to jail harming my children. She has got nothing to do with how I dress. I have been faithful through the entire marriage, she was not”, she recalled.
She has a son and a daughter, both being special children. Her daughter calls her ‘Daddy Girl’. She has full custody of the children and counts their love as her greatest achievement.
She knows that Bible says transvestism or cross dressing is detested by the Lord but she has been cross dressing since years even though she is a Christian. In India, the hijras have a special significance with ‘Ardhanari’ avatar of Shiva where He and Parvati appear intermingled in a single body. There’s no such significance with the pantheon. She has not dressed only at her place of work. She has not worked for 16 years now, owing to health and family issues. Her hiatal hernial operation has failed after 13 years and she needs to have it redone. Victoria wishes to undergo complete change of sex in the coming future. Hormones have helped her in transformation but with due side effects like mood swings, suicidal tendencies and weirdly varying blood pressure.
The world has been cruel to her. She has been ostracized a number of times, even with the destruction of her property. She says that society is ‘okay’ with her as long as her identity is hidden. She feels alone and cut of from the world.
“You can now be legally married in this state. I would not recommend living here though. Worst state in the nation for violence against transgender people”, said Victoria.
When asked about her outlook towards the society, she said “As much as society hates me, I still love them. I would die to save even an enemy. Even if the whole world hates me, I will stand alone to be me. I’ll love them even if they spit on me, that’s what makes me different”.
Her reaction to the news of Manabi Bandopadhyay was a happy and an elated one, but she is aware of the conditions of the transgender in India. She is quite disgusted by the system of classes which exists in her state as well. The people from higher strata of the society might get accepted like Chaz Bono and Ton Gabel but the lower class people suffer a lot. People get denied of jobs for not being one of the males or females. She loves photography and singing but has not been able to progress much in those fields due to large discrimination working in her community and society.
“Indian transgender people can beg and have communities where the like people stay together. In South Carolina, you will be arrested if you are caught begging in certain places. The ones that are passable are fine, the younger ones end up in orphanages”
Thousands of physical, emotional and social hardships have come as hurdles in her way, but nothing has stopped herself from being what she feels inside and what she is and what she wants to be.
“I am the road paved for others to see, all of these trans people today have faced nothing that I have seen. I was treated with hatred when I was a child like they used to treat black people, separate bathrooms and all.”
In one of her poems called “The Mirror”, she speaks about all of us being a flawed creatures and once that realization dawns upon us, we help others. So when one wants to bully or judge, she says to look into the mirror, and one sees the monster hiding within oneself.
She was asked if she thinks males could be raped. Her response was assertive and she said that males can be raped by males and that too anally and the world is safe for nobody.
She would jump at the opportunity to come to India. She conveys a message to our country.
“In order for a nation to grow, it must come together and unify, from the greatest to the least, they must unite to become one. There is hope but the process is very slow.
I have had my truck set on fire, gas tanks in my vehicles sugared, windows broken out of the house, gun put in my face, spit on, and even called a faggot by the local police. They are going to pin you down but you got to stand up.
Step up Indian transgender people, take the mantle and begin to rise above the oppressors with love and peace. Show them you are not afraid to be you at any cost.
Some will die, some will give up and some will be the glorious new butterflies that changed the world.True love conquers ALL.
India, create a new mirror and reflect your love to the world. It has seen enough pain already. Let your love be a beacon of light that will change the world.
If I had changed my sex, I would have been a lesbian now. Indian people are good. I have a couple of friends there”
On being enquired about her future plans, she said “Take care of my children and my health, change my sex, and be single. May be because I am used to being in total isolation”.
Hence, the fight for gender equality and gender rights is not just in the case of the ‘hijra’s in India whom people sneer at. They do not have a safe place to reside and who on earth ensures their safety? Nobody. Bills and acts and amendments will go on for ages but what will replace the crippled mentalities of people regarding gender that has been running since ages? How safe and empowered is the transgender in real life in this world?
Well, empowerment does not just mean Chaz Bono appearing in Dancing With The Stars and Manabi Bandhapadhyay being a principal and media covering such news for more attention to their respective channels and houses.
The question of empowerment lies on the of floor when a transgender teen is molested in Oregon by a thirty eight years old man for days and nobody, no media throws light upon that incident. The question of empowerment lies on the ground where a transgender in USA is denied job, when a transgender gets raped but the victim is charged of harrassing the male who actually raped ‘her’. The question of empowerment lies where the transgender ‘women’ are pushed into the profession of the sex-workers in India and are beaten to death by pimps. The question of empowerment lies on the floor when a mother keeps her child away from transgender people and the child is taught to be afraid of them and isolate them from the rest of the society. The fight for freedom and equality never ends. Raise your voice towards such injustice. The recent progress regarding the transgender is not a conclusion but an introduction to a fight which is to be fought and revolution to be brought
And we recall Victoria saying, “The world is safe for nobody”.
