When you lose a family member it is always upsetting and stressful. The emotions are limited to you, a few other family members and close friends, but what about others? Well, for them, funerals are just another gossip ground, whatever might be happening around it doesn’t matter to them.
The aunties take these funerals to another level, when my maternal grandfather died, people started arriving from our native place and all they could think about was,
“Did you have a look at Nisha’s bedroom, she has a TV and also a computer and Air Conditioner, I am sure they have a lot of money for all that.”
Or
“Since we are in Mumbai, why not do a little shopping as well, my cousins told me that you get very cheap clothes at few places.”
Fake tears was another thing that I could see oozing out of their eyes, not only that, apparently a lot of things also got stolen from the house since all the family members were so caught up in their emotions that they never realized all that until a month later. It was one of my mother’s cousin sister who had done the needful work of stealing a few people’s money as well as anything that she could lay her hands on and let me tell you she also enacted fainting twice which am sure was unwanted.
A few people actually mourn and the others just make plans to visit the gateway of India or the Marine Drive. Whereas some of them are lost in their own world, the others try to act as if they know everything and just start taking decisions which are totally uncalled for.
“Son I don’t think there is a need for people to go walking, we can directly take the body from the hospital to the crematorium.”
“Why are you providing food to the workers, stop spending so much of money.”
“I think you should tell people to go back home now.” So on and so forth were the kinds of suggestions that kept coming my uncle and mother’s way.
When they somehow finally got the hint that they need to keep shut now, started arriving the most annoying kind of crowd, the over smart uncles. They weren’t present for the funeral, they had come to brag. Brag about new investments, the amount of money they plan on giving for their daughter’s dowry and if they have a son, then the imaginary accomplishments that he has been achieving ever since he landed on this planet. The conversations go on, and how can these men happen to forget about food.
“The jalebis last time were not as good as the gulabjamun, Vinod should pay a little more attention towards the cooks this time.” It was one of the many comments wherein an uncle expected my uncle to focus on the food that was to be served after thirteen days instead of making preparations for the pyre of his father.
Instead of focusing on food, clothes, children and everything else, look around once. Someone has lost their love of life, a child has lost a parent, a family has lost its breadwinner and this reality will be coming to you as well one day and that day you too will have a crowd of people who will be as least interested as once you were.
No one is asking you to cry or be sad, but if you can’t be of help then at least don’t make it more difficult for others. It’s a funeral and not a picnic, so next time you attend one think about the reality that you will be facing as well. Show your gratitude and respect, once that is done you can just carry on with your life.
Note: Image used in this post is only for representational purpose.
